Friday Night Lights

Yeah its the weekend! And I get to go out on a date with my Rae Rae!!! Hey hey! We have plans all weekend - I am so excited! It is going to be a wonderful way to end a wonderful week. But first I must tell about the end of my most fabulous day yesterday. I left work a little early so I could enjoy the evening at home. The bus/train ride was nice, the weather was beuatiful and I enjoyed the walk. I stopped by my Mom and Dad's before retiring to the house. I told them of the fabulous day I had, and spoke of the control I had gained over myself. I even told them that I thought that I believed I could possible someday have A (one) beer some time down the road. They did not like that. They explained that is what every alcoholic says and how they get in trouble again. I knew they were right. I didnt want them to be, oh how I didnt want them to be, but I knew they were. I really thought my voice sounded strong and convincing, but I guess you cant fool a parent, even when you are 32. I went home and rethought my thoughts. I really do feel better than what I ever have, and well I am just not ready to give that up yet, not even for beer. I did however lay awake in bed rationalizing to myself in what type of circumstance in would be Ok to have a beer. I realized what I was doing, closed my eyes, prayed for God to LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION, and went to sleep.

Today has been wonderful as well, still feeling the greatness and lightness of whatever this feeling is and enjoying every moment I have. Rae is picking me up after work and we are going to Deep Ellum for the beginning of the arts festival. My band, yes, MY band, the Beatles tribute - From Us to You - will be playing at the Curtain Club down there tonight!!! Tea for me! I am excited to be there and hear them play and remember everything they sing! It will be nice to be outside and be around the wonders of art and music surrounding all your senses. I will enjoy that most.

I have won yet another battle, but not the war. I fight everyday, I fight hard and without mercy against this. I want this happiness to last as long as I can make it. This ride I am on is beautiful, the scenery, something out of a fairy tale, one with a happy ending I refuse to let go of. I am feeling more at peace and seeing more clearly. I continue to pray for peace and clarity and I thank God for giving me the strength to fight.