Day 4

Did not wake up until 1pm today, after a night of watching movies with Mom, Dad and Samone. Samone was a friendly and welcoming face to see last night. Not sure if she knows of what happened but she is accepting of all my flaws nonetheless. I spent the day determing what bus routes to take for the upcoming week. Finally got it figured out with the help of my Dad, hopefully there will not be too much walking, although I could use the exercise. I then went on the hunt for my car. I had to get the release papers from the police department and then trek out to the impound. (Sidenote: I do not like knowing where the police impound is, I could have gone my entire life not knowing that one fact)And did anyone else notice it was freezing cold today? I found my car, not as bad as what I thought it was. My Dad said while I was at work tomorrow he would call to see if he could find a mechanic to repair it for a reasonable price and if so, we would get it towed tomorrow afternoon. Maybe the bus adventure wont have to last as long as I had thought. I am hoping the car can be fixed, please oh please let it be fixed. The car started without hesitation - I believe it is just the front axel that will need to be fixed.

My Mom made me read some of the Koran today, The Believers and The Counsel. Speaking of those who believe will relish in the rewards of Allah and those who ridicule and forsake Him will of course burn in Hell. I am at a loss as to what to write after this because I am not sure why she had me read this. I am a good person. My decisions are not always good, and I know it will be extrememly hard for me to change them, but I do believe I am a good person. She did stress that she was not trying to preach to me, but that this was her way of helping. I love my Mom for this.

Some of you may wonder why I am writing all of this for you to read. It is therapeutic for me. I have promised myself to write the truth, even if only I read it. I know I can go back and know it is the truth and either be proud or disappointed, but no matter, it is there - in writing. I can not change it to how I want to remember it - it is there - in black and white. I want to be proud of myself more than I want anyone else to be proud of me and this is one way I know how to do it. So thank you to those of you who take the time to read and follow and even those who dont, because I know I will.

I feel better on Day 4, as I know how I am going to get to work (thank you Dart) my car is not as bad as it seemed 3 days ago, I still have a job, I know I have friends and family who love and support me, and I know I have another chance tomorrow. I have been given a one way ticket out of hell and I am taking it with no questions asked this time, no scenic routes, no bathroom breaks, no reststops. I pray for peace and clarity.