If ever I have questioned the presence of Christ - that my friends, well that question has surely been answered over the last few days. Feeling more comfortable in my doubts, I let my better judgement get away from me over the last few weeks. I have seen and experienced the consequences tenfold.
My best example would be, metaphorically, waking up with my head in the toilet praying to God that I would never drink again. Although my ventures did not exclude this(so much for the metaphor),it harbored considerably more mental malfunctions. Needless to say my life has been in the toilet the last couple of days and I know why.
My careless ways and carefree attitude will be the death of me if drinking isnt. I am the person who goes for anything - the one in the group that screams "Lets Do It". My weakness is spontaneity and adventure. The unknown, willing the unwilled. I push and I dont mind being pushed back - in fact I love it. Push harder. Lets see how far this goes - where it takes us. Oh was that the line - looks like we passed it. I have to slow down on that, because I will either die or have nothing and no one, or c) all of the above.
The Devil is out there folks - I have seen it - it fucks with your car, with your microwave, bank account, your friendships, your health and has mind control over ants and cats. And I am atleast smart enough to know that if there is a devil, there is a God. If i can get rid of this evil presence around me, I will be able to experience and feel the good side. I cant wait.
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